Oh Bother!!

Don began having trouble at work. He was telling me stories about his roommate, who was also his boss, and all of the pressure that he was under. He would tell me about how his roommate was "storing"work equipment at their house. I honestly knew no better so I believed his story. One day he came to my house and he told me that he and he roommate had both lost their jobs because their company was going to close down operations in this area. This seemed like a bizarre story since it was a construction company, they were in the middle of a huge project and Don and his roommate were in charge of the project. Needless to say, I believed it…even though I had my doubts. Looking back, I now realize they both got fired, probably for "storing" that equipment at their house.

Well, losing his job brought out an entirely different side of Don. I truly believe that when something major like that happens in one's life, you either sink or swim. You find a way to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on or you just shrivel up and die. Well, Don was the latter. He became so mopey and depressed and every day was a struggle to be around him. He was the equivalent of Eeyore from Winnie-The-Pooh. I could literally picture him walking around the house saying "Oh Bother!!" This was VERY hard for me since I was just getting to such a happy place in my life, I absolutely refused to go back.

I tried and tried to help him find a job and he just seemed to have no motivation. He would apply for positions and he was not finding anything. Before too long I realized that I could not be with someone that crashed under pressure like this. I needed someone who was stronger than that. I needed someone who was able to thrive when the going got rough. I was too strong of a person to be with anyone who was weak.

I remember toward the end of our relationship being absolutely disgusted with what he had allowed himself to turn into. I knew at this point that I absolutely was not, and probably had never been, in love with him. He was purely a rebound from my marriage. He was exactly what I needed at the time to get me through the rough patch I was in after an awful divorce, but I knew if I stayed with him any longer I would quite possibly end up divorced again, and THAT was NOT going to happen!! It was time to be a big girl and have my first real "break-up" talk in almost 8 years! I had no idea how to do it. I couldn't just quit talking to him because he was living with me. By this point, he had let his lease on his house expire, he was jobless, and he was still driving my truck!!! As you can see, it would have been easy to put this one off…but I was miserable, I HAD to end it. The talk had to happen!!