Don and I began to spend a lot of time together. We started seeing each other every day and before I knew it he was staying over at my house every night. I was absolutely CRAZY about him. I remember one evening I was cooking dinner and he was in the kitchen talking to me and he said "So, how was your day today?" Something as simple as this just knocked me off of my feet. It was just so unreal to me that I was having such a NORMAL relationship with someone who was interested in what was going on in my life. During my marriage, I would walk in the door and IF my husband was home, he would be upstairs watching TV or playing video games and he would not even acknowledge my presence. Don was actually interested in ME! I was really falling for this guy!!
Things were good, life was good, I was finally happy! Plus…he had GREAT friends who I was quickly growing to adore. I remember a month or so into our relationship we were at my house one Saturday, laying on the couch and he looked at me and told me that he was in love with me!! I was SO HAPPY!! I felt like I loved him too! I was on CLOUD 9! I thought I had finally found "the one" who I was supposed to be with!
My family absolutely ADORED him! He was such a charming guy. They quickly grew to like him more than they even liked me. I felt like things were going so great.
I remember meeting his parents for the first time and thinking that he had the best family. I really wanted to be with someone who had fantastic parents because my ex-husband's parents and I never had that great relationship that you would love to have with your in-laws. I really could not believe that things seemed to be going so smoothly!!
I was living in a complete dream world and looking at everything through rose colored glasses. I had rebounded from a horrible divorce and met a wonderful man and I felt as if everything was going to be great from here on out! He was a nice guy, he was cute, and we had so much fun together…and I loved him! What more could I want?? After all…I had seen NO red flags…or had I?
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Saturday, April 19, 2014
The Don
The next guy was named Don. Don and I had been chatting back and forth for a couple of weeks now. After the incident with Jed, I was a little gun-shy but I had definitely learned from it so I was just going to push forward and try not to make the same mistakes twice. Don lived in the same city as I. The important things that I knew about him was that he was employed, he had a dog, he seemed really friendly and he was tall (or so he said). We decided that we would meet out for dinner at a local Thai restaurant. I went into this date with the lowest of expectations because of what I had experienced from the last on-line dating incident.
The first date was GREAT! We met and had dinner and drinks at the restaurant. Unlike my previous experience, he actually did look like his profile picture! We talked the entire time. We seemed to have a lot in common. He honestly seemed like a really fun and nice guy! I was super excited. After dinner I told him goodbye. There was no kiss, just a side hug. I was honestly just trying to take things slow and not rush things with him.
The next morning I had a 5:30AM flight out for work. I was going to be gone for a couple of days. I remember sitting on the tarmac and getting a text message from Don that said "I had a great time last night. Have a great trip and have fun." I remember thinking…"Wow…I don't know the last time I ever got a message like that when leaving for a work trip". During my marriage the night before a work trip and morning of were always surrounded with HUGE arguments because I had an extremely jealous husband. He made sure to make my entire trip a living hell. It was nice to see that there could be a change of pace.
Don texted me nice things while I was gone. It was really sweet. It actually made me look forward to coming back home so that we could do something that weekend. I couldn't believe it! I was looking forward to going on a 2nd date with someone! I was going to get home late on Friday evening so we planned to go to dinner the following Saturday night. This time I actually had expectations that we would have a good time.
On our second date, we went to dinner. Once again, we had the best time together. I was really starting to get optimistic about this Don guy!! After we finished dinner he mentioned that several of his friends were having drinks at a bar across town and they wanted us to join them. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! He wanted to introduce me to his FRIENDS!!! Now, you might think…"what's the big deal with this?" Well, let me just explain. During my marriage I lived in a completely different world from my husband. He kept me totally isolated from his friends in the city that we lived in. The only thing that I knew was their names…or supposed names. Never once in almost 3 years did I meet these friends. It was something that was a HUGE point of contention in our marriage. Hindsight, I now know the reasons that he was keeping his life so secretive but at the time I really could make no sense of it all.
Fast forward to date #2 with Don. He wanted to introduce me to his friends. MAJOR BONUS POINTS!! We went across town to the bar and had a couple of drinks with his friends. They were all great and I was so excited to be meeting all of these new people. At this point Don was a winner in my book!!
The first date was GREAT! We met and had dinner and drinks at the restaurant. Unlike my previous experience, he actually did look like his profile picture! We talked the entire time. We seemed to have a lot in common. He honestly seemed like a really fun and nice guy! I was super excited. After dinner I told him goodbye. There was no kiss, just a side hug. I was honestly just trying to take things slow and not rush things with him.
The next morning I had a 5:30AM flight out for work. I was going to be gone for a couple of days. I remember sitting on the tarmac and getting a text message from Don that said "I had a great time last night. Have a great trip and have fun." I remember thinking…"Wow…I don't know the last time I ever got a message like that when leaving for a work trip". During my marriage the night before a work trip and morning of were always surrounded with HUGE arguments because I had an extremely jealous husband. He made sure to make my entire trip a living hell. It was nice to see that there could be a change of pace.
Don texted me nice things while I was gone. It was really sweet. It actually made me look forward to coming back home so that we could do something that weekend. I couldn't believe it! I was looking forward to going on a 2nd date with someone! I was going to get home late on Friday evening so we planned to go to dinner the following Saturday night. This time I actually had expectations that we would have a good time.
On our second date, we went to dinner. Once again, we had the best time together. I was really starting to get optimistic about this Don guy!! After we finished dinner he mentioned that several of his friends were having drinks at a bar across town and they wanted us to join them. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! He wanted to introduce me to his FRIENDS!!! Now, you might think…"what's the big deal with this?" Well, let me just explain. During my marriage I lived in a completely different world from my husband. He kept me totally isolated from his friends in the city that we lived in. The only thing that I knew was their names…or supposed names. Never once in almost 3 years did I meet these friends. It was something that was a HUGE point of contention in our marriage. Hindsight, I now know the reasons that he was keeping his life so secretive but at the time I really could make no sense of it all.
Fast forward to date #2 with Don. He wanted to introduce me to his friends. MAJOR BONUS POINTS!! We went across town to the bar and had a couple of drinks with his friends. They were all great and I was so excited to be meeting all of these new people. At this point Don was a winner in my book!!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
It's A Long Road Home
It only took him 30 minutes to call once he had left. I thought, "Oh good, he is calling to apologize for how inappropriate he was the night before and this morning" so I decided to answer the phone. On the other end of that phone was no apology…it was a screaming man telling me how awful of a person I was for kicking him out of my house and making him drive back home in a rainstorm. He called me a bitch, told me I was a piece of shit and was screaming like a CRAZY man! Needless to say…if I didn't realize it the night before, I quickly realized I dodged not just a bullet, but a missile!
I remained calm on the phone and told him that he would not speak to me in that manner. I informed him that we would not be speaking again after this interaction and that I hoped that he had a safe trip home in the big bad rainstorm (which people drive in everyday). He called over and over again and I would not answer his calls because I knew how crazy he was acting and I was not going to deal with it at that moment.
The following day he called again. I answered. He was singing a completely different tune. He apologized for the way he had acted, and he informed me that we should be together because he makes enough money to take care of me and that is what I need. Oh yes!!! That will solve all of my problems…sense the sarcasm?!? I told him once again that this would not happen and to please just forget about the weekend. To this day…over 2 years later I will still get an occasional text from "Psycho Jed" as he is now stored in my phone. Some are just checking in to see what's up, and some have been pictures of some guy's chest…but definitely not his. He must have forgotten I have seen his!
What I learned from this interaction…my "take-away's":
* NEVER EVER have a guy over to your house on a first date…even if you know him. First dates are best in public places and you should ALWAYS ALWAYS meet each other there.
* When online dating you never know what you will get. Don't expect the person to show up and look exactly like their profile picture or even be who they really say they are. It is easy to hide behind a computer.
* It is OK to end a situation immediately if you are uncomfortable. You are the only one who is in charge when it comes to you and your happiness (and safety). If you do not feel OK with how things are progressing, leave…or in this instance…kick them out IMMEDIATELY.
* Size DOES matter! You know that line "it's not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean"…well, I can't say for sure but from pure speculation of what I saw there could be a hurricane in that ocean and it would never be enough.
Now that I was armed with all of these take-away's from my first date I was ready to conquer the dating world. I was confident that this was just a bump in the road and I was excited to meet the next guy. I just knew it was going to be better.
I remained calm on the phone and told him that he would not speak to me in that manner. I informed him that we would not be speaking again after this interaction and that I hoped that he had a safe trip home in the big bad rainstorm (which people drive in everyday). He called over and over again and I would not answer his calls because I knew how crazy he was acting and I was not going to deal with it at that moment.
The following day he called again. I answered. He was singing a completely different tune. He apologized for the way he had acted, and he informed me that we should be together because he makes enough money to take care of me and that is what I need. Oh yes!!! That will solve all of my problems…sense the sarcasm?!? I told him once again that this would not happen and to please just forget about the weekend. To this day…over 2 years later I will still get an occasional text from "Psycho Jed" as he is now stored in my phone. Some are just checking in to see what's up, and some have been pictures of some guy's chest…but definitely not his. He must have forgotten I have seen his!
What I learned from this interaction…my "take-away's":
* NEVER EVER have a guy over to your house on a first date…even if you know him. First dates are best in public places and you should ALWAYS ALWAYS meet each other there.
* When online dating you never know what you will get. Don't expect the person to show up and look exactly like their profile picture or even be who they really say they are. It is easy to hide behind a computer.
* It is OK to end a situation immediately if you are uncomfortable. You are the only one who is in charge when it comes to you and your happiness (and safety). If you do not feel OK with how things are progressing, leave…or in this instance…kick them out IMMEDIATELY.
* Size DOES matter! You know that line "it's not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean"…well, I can't say for sure but from pure speculation of what I saw there could be a hurricane in that ocean and it would never be enough.
Now that I was armed with all of these take-away's from my first date I was ready to conquer the dating world. I was confident that this was just a bump in the road and I was excited to meet the next guy. I just knew it was going to be better.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Not All Small Things Are Cute
After we finished with our wine and watching TV I was ready for bed. That's when Jed decided to make his first move. He went in to kiss me. Since I had consumed a good bit of alcohol I thought one kiss couldn't hurt anything. One kiss and that was it…I was going to bed and so was he. Well, of course that is not what happened. He was relentless in his pushing. His goal was to go much further than kissing. I had stopped things before they got too carried away.
By this point I knew that it was time for him to go upstairs to his bedroom and for me to go to mine. I showed him where everything was upstairs and then went back downstairs thinking that I had avoided all of the awkwardness for the night. As I was cleaning up the house, he decided to make one final appearance downstairs…the grand finale, if you will…this time in nothing but his birthday suit! He stood there in all of his glory, as proud as he could be and said "Hey baby! Is it big enough for you??" I was so shocked and horrified that I didn't know what to do! All of that aside, all I could do was stare…and let me tell you, there is a reason this man is single! Two words…MICRO PENIS!
It was like that scene from The Hangover when the Asian man jumps naked out of the trunk! All I could think of was how incredibly small his penis was, how out of shape he truly was without a shirt on and how tan he was for winter! It was HORRENDOUS! I was so uncomfortable, weirded-out, and amazed at the same time! I could not believe what I was seeing right in the middle of my living room! I immediately coaxed him back upstairs, went to my room, locked my door and cried because this is what my life had become! The rest of the night was quiet.
The following morning it was stormy. As soon as I woke up, I smelled the wonderful scent of burning sausage. I could hear someone in the kitchen. I immediately jumped out of bed to see what in the world was going on. As soon as I opened the door there it was AGAIN! A naked man…this time in my apron cooking breakfast! Please just stop for a minute and picture it…I open my bedroom door and the first thing I'm greeted by is a tanned ass with MY KITCHEN APRON tied around it! What did he think he was going to accomplish? My kitchen was full of smoke from the burnt sausage and I was not happy. I told him it was time for him to go. I had reached the breaking point with this visit. He went upstairs, packed up his 2 duffel bags and was on his way. One would think after the previous nights and mornings events he would just bow out, cut his losses and move on…oh no my friends! That was not the case! Not in the least!
By this point I knew that it was time for him to go upstairs to his bedroom and for me to go to mine. I showed him where everything was upstairs and then went back downstairs thinking that I had avoided all of the awkwardness for the night. As I was cleaning up the house, he decided to make one final appearance downstairs…the grand finale, if you will…this time in nothing but his birthday suit! He stood there in all of his glory, as proud as he could be and said "Hey baby! Is it big enough for you??" I was so shocked and horrified that I didn't know what to do! All of that aside, all I could do was stare…and let me tell you, there is a reason this man is single! Two words…MICRO PENIS!
It was like that scene from The Hangover when the Asian man jumps naked out of the trunk! All I could think of was how incredibly small his penis was, how out of shape he truly was without a shirt on and how tan he was for winter! It was HORRENDOUS! I was so uncomfortable, weirded-out, and amazed at the same time! I could not believe what I was seeing right in the middle of my living room! I immediately coaxed him back upstairs, went to my room, locked my door and cried because this is what my life had become! The rest of the night was quiet.
The following morning it was stormy. As soon as I woke up, I smelled the wonderful scent of burning sausage. I could hear someone in the kitchen. I immediately jumped out of bed to see what in the world was going on. As soon as I opened the door there it was AGAIN! A naked man…this time in my apron cooking breakfast! Please just stop for a minute and picture it…I open my bedroom door and the first thing I'm greeted by is a tanned ass with MY KITCHEN APRON tied around it! What did he think he was going to accomplish? My kitchen was full of smoke from the burnt sausage and I was not happy. I told him it was time for him to go. I had reached the breaking point with this visit. He went upstairs, packed up his 2 duffel bags and was on his way. One would think after the previous nights and mornings events he would just bow out, cut his losses and move on…oh no my friends! That was not the case! Not in the least!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
A Freshly Hatched Chick's First Date
The first guy that I decided to go out on a date with was named Jed. He did not live in my city but lived about an hour and a half north. We had talked back and forth for a couple of weeks and he seemed like a nice enough guy…or at least nice enough to go on a date with.
This was his story. He was a professional baseball player who had to quit due to an injury. He was now living in this city doing sales (or something) for work. According to what I could tell from his pictures he seemed like a really good looking guy and when I heard baseball player I was sold because I had always been somewhat of a cleat chaser :)
So, we decided to make some solid plans. Being that I was so new to this dating world I did not know how to begin with this. Since he was coming from out of town that really threw another dynamic into the entire situation…if we went to dinner and had a couple of drinks, where would he stay? Well, the obvious answer now that I'm smarter and more experienced is a HOTEL…however, let's remember that I was a freshly hatched chick into this scary dating world so I thought he could just stay in the extra bedroom at my house. Surely that would be safe and nothing could possibly go wrong. Hmmm…
Well, Jed came down on Friday afternoon. He showed up in a brand new black Toyota 4-Runner complete with big tires and rims and LOUD speakers. As soon as he hopped out of his "cool" truck my first impression was that he was much shorter than I imagined and that he looked like he had probably gained 35 pounds since any of his last pictures were taken. He asked me whether or not I liked his truck because he customized it with me in mind! Seriously?!? Just incase you want to keep up…RED FLAG #1.
As Jed was getting out of his too cool for school black Toyota 4-Runner, he popped the back hatch and grabbed not 1 but 2 duffel bags!!! What was this guy doing?!? Moving in?? Yes, that would be RED FLAG # 2. I was trying to be cool and go with it. After all, I had not told him that he was my FIRST DATE since my divorce. I wanted him to think that I was good at this. He brought his bags into my house and put them down. I decided we needed to get this show on the road and head out to dinner.
We went and grabbed a bite to eat, had a couple of drinks over dinner and came back to my house. Dinner was pleasant but I was by no means blown away by this guy. From what I can recall after we got back I opened a bottle of wine, purely trying to drink my sorrows away because I had already come to the conclusion that this was not going to end well. However, it was late and we had both had a good bit to drink so I was not going to ship him off to drive home…after all, I'm not that heartless. Little did I know this date was nowhere near over!
This was his story. He was a professional baseball player who had to quit due to an injury. He was now living in this city doing sales (or something) for work. According to what I could tell from his pictures he seemed like a really good looking guy and when I heard baseball player I was sold because I had always been somewhat of a cleat chaser :)
So, we decided to make some solid plans. Being that I was so new to this dating world I did not know how to begin with this. Since he was coming from out of town that really threw another dynamic into the entire situation…if we went to dinner and had a couple of drinks, where would he stay? Well, the obvious answer now that I'm smarter and more experienced is a HOTEL…however, let's remember that I was a freshly hatched chick into this scary dating world so I thought he could just stay in the extra bedroom at my house. Surely that would be safe and nothing could possibly go wrong. Hmmm…
Well, Jed came down on Friday afternoon. He showed up in a brand new black Toyota 4-Runner complete with big tires and rims and LOUD speakers. As soon as he hopped out of his "cool" truck my first impression was that he was much shorter than I imagined and that he looked like he had probably gained 35 pounds since any of his last pictures were taken. He asked me whether or not I liked his truck because he customized it with me in mind! Seriously?!? Just incase you want to keep up…RED FLAG #1.
As Jed was getting out of his too cool for school black Toyota 4-Runner, he popped the back hatch and grabbed not 1 but 2 duffel bags!!! What was this guy doing?!? Moving in?? Yes, that would be RED FLAG # 2. I was trying to be cool and go with it. After all, I had not told him that he was my FIRST DATE since my divorce. I wanted him to think that I was good at this. He brought his bags into my house and put them down. I decided we needed to get this show on the road and head out to dinner.
We went and grabbed a bite to eat, had a couple of drinks over dinner and came back to my house. Dinner was pleasant but I was by no means blown away by this guy. From what I can recall after we got back I opened a bottle of wine, purely trying to drink my sorrows away because I had already come to the conclusion that this was not going to end well. However, it was late and we had both had a good bit to drink so I was not going to ship him off to drive home…after all, I'm not that heartless. Little did I know this date was nowhere near over!
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