A Friend of a Friend

It had been several weeks since the incident with the crazy drug thief. I was honestly not making any attempts to look for a date and I was just enjoying my life. One afternoon I received a Facebook message from a colleague of mine asking me whether or not I was seeing anyone at the moment. I hadn't heard from him in years and I wasn't sure where this was going.

Considering that he was single and I was not interested in him at all, I skated around the question and told him I was KIND OF seeing someone. This was a total lie, but if he was asking for himself it gave me an easy out rather than having to shoot him down with no excuse. I did ask him why he wanted to know. He responded telling me that he had a friend in mind who he thought would be a great match for me. I asked him for high level details just to see whether or not I might be interested. 

His friend had just gotten divorced a few months ago, he lived in the same city as I did and he was looking to start dating again. He told me his name and told me to look him up on Facebook and see if I was interested. I did a little obligatory Facebook stalking and thought he was cute so I messaged my friend back and told him it was fine to share my information with him. 

From what I was able to find with my stalking, his name was Andy, he was an engineer and he played soccer in his spare time. He seemed attractive and like a guy that I would be interested in meeting. Other than that I was pretty blind to the situation. All I could do was wait to see whether or not we would actually meet.

I felt like this one might actually be a little more reliable though since it was a "friend of a friend" situation rather than a complete stranger. Time for the waiting game again!! If he called I would go out with him, if not I had nothing to lose anyway because I really didn't care about dating at this particular moment anyway.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

I thought that after all of that Tommy would just tuck his tail in humiliation and bow out gracefully. I had made it very clear to him that we would not be working things out and he needed to move on to someone else. He definitely did not give up.

He would send me text messages apologizing for what he had done. He asked me repeatedly to just hear him out and give him a chance to explain. I felt that there was nothing to explain AT ALL. He had stolen drugs from me! No explanation could change the fact that he was a thief and a pill head. There were red flags all over this guy and I knew that I needed to let him go!

A few weeks after we stopped dating I came home from work and had 2 dozen long stem red roses on my front porch with a card from Tommy. It was yet another apology and plea for me to give him a chance. I stuck to my guns and continued to ignore him. I just honestly knew that at the end of the day there was not going to be a future with us.

After the flowers I honestly thought that he had gotten the point. I did not hear from him for several months. I felt like he was gone. Then one day out of the blue, I got a text message from him with one of those generic "E-Cards" about a dog that he said made him think of me. It was a cute picture so I responded. That was the mistake I made. I should have never responded to him. I should have left the gates closed. What followed was the most horrifying, entertaining and downright embarrassing thing I have ever seen. He sent me another message that said "I was thinking about you the other night and I made something that hopefully will make you smile".

The next thing that came through was a video. I honestly was so annoyed that I didn't even play it at first. I had dealt with enough crazy out of this guy that I didn't want to know. Finally curiosity got the best of me and I had to watch it. He had LITERALLY set up his computer to record himself dancing to  Robin Thicke's "Give It 2 U" and sent it to me. And he was NOT being goofy or funny. He was SO DEAD SERIOUS while he was dancing!! The best part was that he was sweaty in the video so you could tell that he had probably been practicing several times before he got just the right one that he wanted to send. If I ever had any doubts about this guy being on drugs, they were all confirmed!!

Needless to say, after having a small breakdown about what my life had become, I shared the video with all of my friends and colleagues. They all thought it was HYSTERICAL and a bit pathetic and got a big kick out of it. I never responded to his video. After that he did go away. I think he finally got the point that I was not interested.

My Take-Aways from Tommy:

* If you think a person has quirks in the beginning, they are probably going to turn into something a little larger than a quirk. He showed me his "crazy" early on but I chose to ignore it. I thought that he was a good guy. I was completely wrong.
* There is a difference between being intoxicated on alcohol alone and being intoxicated on alcohol plus prescription pills. I always thought that he was over the top when he went out and partied…it just took me a little bit to put all of the pieces together. That is definitely not something that I am looking for in a life partner.
* Always stick to your guns when you break things off with someone if the situation is like it was with Tommy. There is no telling where this roller coaster would have taken me if I would have taken him back and given him another chance, but I was not willing to stay on for the ride. I had had enough of him and his nonsense. I had too much to lose in my life to get caught up in childish behavior like that.

What's Mine is NOT Yours

I looked around my kitchen and realized that Tommy had indeed cleaned up the disaster from the night before. All of the food was gone, nothing was on the floor and overall everything seemed back to normal. There was just one thing that was slightly off. One of my chairs from my breakfast table was pulled away from the table and pulled against my cabinet and the cabinet was standing wide open.

Had this been a food cabinet or the cabinet that I kept my dishes in, I would have never even thought twice about it...but this was a different cabinet. This was my medicine cabinet. Why in the world would a chair be pulled up to my medicine cabinet and the door be standing wide open?? Had Tommy needed an Advil for a hangover there would have been no need for a stool for him to peer in the medicine cabinet. That was right in the front. As soon as I walked over and looked in, I could tell that everything had been shuffled through.

I immediately went into search and recovery mode!! I just had a gut feeling that this was not going to end well.

I am quite the medicine hoarder. Anytime I get a prescription, I keep the leftovers just incase I ever need them. I have my own pharmacy going in my medicine cabinet and now it had been violated. I began looking at everything…mostly looking for the more "desirable" drugs that someone might want to take.

It did not take me more than a minute to find what was missing!! I was missing a FULL bottle (30 pills) of Loratab - which I keep on hand because I have kidney stones - and a bottle of Xanax - which were my saving grace when I went through my divorce!! I could NOT believe it!! Tommy had taken drugs out of my house!! I had NEVER had ANYONE steal from me!! I honestly did not know what to do. One part of me felt like I should report him to the police just incase he were to overdose and my name was attached to the bottles, but then I didn't want to be so dramatic.

After I sorted everything out in my head I chose to send him a simple text. It read "Hope you made it home safely, I don't think you and I have a future together." It did not take him long at all to pick up the phone and call me. Of course he was completely SHOCKED that I felt that way. He wanted an explanation. I asked him if he had left my house with anything that wasn't his. Of course he denied it. I told him how my kitchen looked when I came home and what was missing from my drug cabinet. He continued to deny it. I stuck to my guns and ended it.

Within 20 minutes he called me back and admitted to everything and offered to bring the pills back to me. He told me how he likes to take pills when he drinks (which completely explained the crazy drunken state he got into) and that he was sorry. I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him and he could shove the pills up his ass for all that I cared. I felt completely violated that someone had been in my house and gone through my things and just taken whatever they wanted. After all of this he even had the nerve to ask me to please give him another chance. He thought that if he returned the pills, we could pretend like none of this had ever happened and just move on. FAT CHANCE!!