I was out with my girlfriends on a Friday night. I did not have plans to see Tommy. We had plans for the next night, but I had already declared that Friday night was going to be girls night. We were downtown having a great time and I happened to run in to Tommy and one of his friends. We chatted and all had a drink together and then parted ways. I could tell that he was quite intoxicated but I honestly felt like it was not my issue because I was with my friends, he had his friends and I was not responsible for him or his whereabouts that evening.
As soon as I left him the texting and phone calls began. He wanted to meet up with me again. He wanted to hang out. He wanted to see me. Blah blah blah! I tried to blow him off but I was torn because I WAS interested in this guy so I did kind of want to meet up with him too. I let another hour or so pass and then I gave in and met up with him and his friend.
The Tommy that I met up with was not the Tommy that I had seen earlier in the evening. He was completely inebriated. He literally could not form a sentence. He was hanging all over me and his friend was done with the situation. I was stuck with him. I had to make a game time decision. I loaded his drunk ass into my car and drove him back to my place. With any luck he would pass out in my car and I could just deal with him once I got home. I was hoping for an easy rest of the evening. What I got was anything other than easy.
As soon as I got him in the door he came to life. I told him he needed to go to bed. I had to be up at 6:00AM the next morning to be at an event. I was in no mood for shenanigans. He told me that I could go to bed and he was going to stay up and watch TV for a bit and then he would come to bed. The mistake I made was believing that. Around 2AM I woke up because I heard a loud bang in my kitchen. I jumped out of bed and I found him laying in the floor with a container of ice cream all over him. I don't even know what had happened but all I could tell was that he had fallen and the ice cream had followed. There was food everywhere in my kitchen! There were crackers on the counter, chips out of the cabinet, the milk was out of the fridge. He had even opened a box of Stove Top Stuffing Mix!! This joker was hungry!! He had been binge eating and my kitchen looked like a scene from The Hangover. I was sure that there was a chicken or a tiger somewhere in my house.
I was furious! I forced him to get in bed. I left the mess and told him that he would clean it up in the morning. I got very little sleep for the rest of the night because I was so angry…and maybe a little worried that he might die. I just could not understand how someone could get so drunk and act so ridiculous! He was an adult…not a ridiculous irresponsible teenager! It made no sense.
The next morning I left the house SUPER early. He was, of course, still asleep. I just reminded him that there was a disaster in my kitchen and I expected it to be completely cleaned up when I got back.
I was gone ALL DAY. I didn't return home until almost 6:00 that evening. When I got home he was gone and the mess was cleaned up…however there was something that was just not quite right about my kitchen.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
Everyone Has Quirks
Tommy immediately asked me out on a date for the following weekend. I agreed to go out with him. What did I have to lose? Little did I know those would later be famous last words in our relationship.
He picked me up at my house on Saturday night and we went out to a nice dinner. We had sushi and a few cocktails. We spent a lot of time talking over dinner and drinks and really getting to know each other. He was an engineer. He had a great job and he also was working in his spare time developing an app for smart phones. This guy was really smart. I was fairly impressed. We talked about his soccer days in college. It sounded like he was a pretty good athlete, which was always a plus in my book.
After dinner we came back to my house. I invited him in to hang out for a bit with the pups. After the Todd debacle, I learned that it was best just to let someone go ahead and meet the dogs before anything got too serious so I would know whether or not the relationship had potential. He was really sweet to my dogs. He played with them and gave them attention. He officially had passed the dog test.
We hung out and chatted for a little longer and then it was time for him to go. I kissed him goodnight and we made plans to see each other again. I was interested in him. He was cute, smart and he seemed to have his life together.
Over the next couple of months, Tommy and I went out a lot. Things seemed to be really developing between us. I felt we had a real chemistry together. He was a little quirky but overall, a nice guy who I felt I could POSSIBLY potentially maybe :) see a future with. I say that very lightly because I had already learned up to this point in my dating "career" to always proceed with caution. I could never be too sure about the way I felt about things.
There were a few things that I learned during the time that I had spent with Tommy that I felt were just quirks and not red flags or deal breakers. Everyone has quirks, right??
Tommy had two tattoos…that I knew of. One was a wolf howling at the moon and one was a tiger. I always thought that these were very odd tattoos and when I asked him about them the answer that I got was even more odd. The tiger was for power and strength…OK. Got that one. The wolf was because he likes to go outside and howl at the moon just like a wolf! WTF??!!?? Why didn't I run away when I got this response? I think that I honestly thought he was joking. No normal person would ever say something like that. No normal person would do that and he seemed overall pretty normal.
Another thing that made him quirky was during a conversation about going to the beach. We were talking about our favorite things about the beach and what we liked to do at the beach. My response was that I like to relax, swim a little, read a book, drink a good drink and just enjoy the time off work. His response was totally bizarre. He said that he likes to go into the ocean and stand there all day and punch the waves and "fight Poseidon". He said he would even yell at Poseidon and hope that he would get bigger waves. I immediately knew at that point that we would NEVER be taking a beach trip together.
The final thing was he liked to party and he liked to party hard. I had never quite seen anything like it. When he would drink it was like a different level of drunkenness than I had ever seen before. I couldn't even really explain it. He was quite a mystery to me.
Armed with these "quirks", for some reason I still decided that I was going to date him for a little longer. I don't know if I was bored, lonely or I just wanted to see where this ride was going to take me.
He picked me up at my house on Saturday night and we went out to a nice dinner. We had sushi and a few cocktails. We spent a lot of time talking over dinner and drinks and really getting to know each other. He was an engineer. He had a great job and he also was working in his spare time developing an app for smart phones. This guy was really smart. I was fairly impressed. We talked about his soccer days in college. It sounded like he was a pretty good athlete, which was always a plus in my book.
After dinner we came back to my house. I invited him in to hang out for a bit with the pups. After the Todd debacle, I learned that it was best just to let someone go ahead and meet the dogs before anything got too serious so I would know whether or not the relationship had potential. He was really sweet to my dogs. He played with them and gave them attention. He officially had passed the dog test.
We hung out and chatted for a little longer and then it was time for him to go. I kissed him goodnight and we made plans to see each other again. I was interested in him. He was cute, smart and he seemed to have his life together.
Over the next couple of months, Tommy and I went out a lot. Things seemed to be really developing between us. I felt we had a real chemistry together. He was a little quirky but overall, a nice guy who I felt I could POSSIBLY potentially maybe :) see a future with. I say that very lightly because I had already learned up to this point in my dating "career" to always proceed with caution. I could never be too sure about the way I felt about things.
There were a few things that I learned during the time that I had spent with Tommy that I felt were just quirks and not red flags or deal breakers. Everyone has quirks, right??
Tommy had two tattoos…that I knew of. One was a wolf howling at the moon and one was a tiger. I always thought that these were very odd tattoos and when I asked him about them the answer that I got was even more odd. The tiger was for power and strength…OK. Got that one. The wolf was because he likes to go outside and howl at the moon just like a wolf! WTF??!!?? Why didn't I run away when I got this response? I think that I honestly thought he was joking. No normal person would ever say something like that. No normal person would do that and he seemed overall pretty normal.
Another thing that made him quirky was during a conversation about going to the beach. We were talking about our favorite things about the beach and what we liked to do at the beach. My response was that I like to relax, swim a little, read a book, drink a good drink and just enjoy the time off work. His response was totally bizarre. He said that he likes to go into the ocean and stand there all day and punch the waves and "fight Poseidon". He said he would even yell at Poseidon and hope that he would get bigger waves. I immediately knew at that point that we would NEVER be taking a beach trip together.
The final thing was he liked to party and he liked to party hard. I had never quite seen anything like it. When he would drink it was like a different level of drunkenness than I had ever seen before. I couldn't even really explain it. He was quite a mystery to me.
Armed with these "quirks", for some reason I still decided that I was going to date him for a little longer. I don't know if I was bored, lonely or I just wanted to see where this ride was going to take me.
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Function Over Fashion
After Todd, I decided that I was not going to worry with dating. I was just ready to go out and have fun with my friends. I had some GREAT single friends and we had built a pretty good schedule of going either to happy hour for a casual glass of wine or going out until the wee hours of the morning and partying like a bunch of rockstars. I was having the time of my life. I did not need anyone and I DEFINITELY was not looking for anyone. My one friend and I always joked about how oblivious we were to anyone else in bars other than ourselves. We just went to drink, dance and have fun. We never paid attention to our surroundings…especially the men. We did not go out to meet people. We went out to have fun.
Enter Tommy.
It was an unseasonably cold night and my dear friend and I were out on the town. Neither of us were dressed appropriately for the weather and we did not have a jacket. The only solution that we could find was a pink and black fleece paw printed dog blanket in the back seat of my car. SCORE!! We were going to be warm. Function over fashion, right?!? Now…if we actually cared what people thought about us or we were trying to pick up men, we would have never used a dog blanket to keep warm, but neither of these were the case so the dog blanket worked out just fine.
We used the blanket to wrap up in to walk to the bar and then once inside we draped it over our legs while sitting at the bar having drinks. It was a weeknight so it was not terribly crowded but there were still enough people sitting at the bar that we had "friends" surrounding us. We decided that we needed to get a picture to document our evening with the dog blanket in the bar so I asked the gentleman next to me if he would mind taking a quick picture…and that's where it all started.
He took a picture of us and then wasted no time introducing himself to my friend and I. His name was Tommy. He had just moved to our city about a year ago. He was an engineer. He told me that he played soccer in college for a very reputable university. He seemed like an OK guy. Had I been interested in dating I might have thought that he would have been a good guy to consider. Since I was not interested in dating, I was ready to get back to my friend and ignore him.
That is not what happened. My friend and I ended up talking to him the rest of the evening. He had a really cute smile, a sweet personality and from what I could tell he seemed like a pretty good guy. Before I left he asked me for my number. Hesitantly, I gave it to him. I really felt like he was nice, I just wasn't sure if I was up for trying to date again. I was beginning to feel like everything was failing and I was starting to burn out. After I gave him my number I decided that if he called I would give him a chance. I felt the chances of him calling were about 25%. After all, we met in a bar, we had both had a few drinks and I had a damn dog blanket on as a shawl!! You play those odds!
He called the next day!
Enter Tommy.
It was an unseasonably cold night and my dear friend and I were out on the town. Neither of us were dressed appropriately for the weather and we did not have a jacket. The only solution that we could find was a pink and black fleece paw printed dog blanket in the back seat of my car. SCORE!! We were going to be warm. Function over fashion, right?!? Now…if we actually cared what people thought about us or we were trying to pick up men, we would have never used a dog blanket to keep warm, but neither of these were the case so the dog blanket worked out just fine.
We used the blanket to wrap up in to walk to the bar and then once inside we draped it over our legs while sitting at the bar having drinks. It was a weeknight so it was not terribly crowded but there were still enough people sitting at the bar that we had "friends" surrounding us. We decided that we needed to get a picture to document our evening with the dog blanket in the bar so I asked the gentleman next to me if he would mind taking a quick picture…and that's where it all started.
He took a picture of us and then wasted no time introducing himself to my friend and I. His name was Tommy. He had just moved to our city about a year ago. He was an engineer. He told me that he played soccer in college for a very reputable university. He seemed like an OK guy. Had I been interested in dating I might have thought that he would have been a good guy to consider. Since I was not interested in dating, I was ready to get back to my friend and ignore him.
That is not what happened. My friend and I ended up talking to him the rest of the evening. He had a really cute smile, a sweet personality and from what I could tell he seemed like a pretty good guy. Before I left he asked me for my number. Hesitantly, I gave it to him. I really felt like he was nice, I just wasn't sure if I was up for trying to date again. I was beginning to feel like everything was failing and I was starting to burn out. After I gave him my number I decided that if he called I would give him a chance. I felt the chances of him calling were about 25%. After all, we met in a bar, we had both had a few drinks and I had a damn dog blanket on as a shawl!! You play those odds!
He called the next day!
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Friends??
Todd and I continued to date for a few more weeks. Needless to say he was not invited over to my house anymore. We had so much fun together but the one issue that we could not get past was the subject of my dogs. This was something that he was not going to cave on and I absolutely would not EVER compromise on my dogs.
It was very difficult for me to comprehend how everything could seem so spot on with a person and something as trivial as whether a dog lives in your house or outside of your house could be the breaking point. However, it was a definite deal breaker with me because these dogs were NEVER going to live outside and that was that. I could never even imagine anything different for them.
Todd and I eventually decided that we were not going to have a future together romantically. It was a mutual decision and was probably the most mature, adult break-up conversation I had had with someone up to this point. We basically just sat down and agreed that due to this huge point of contention we would never be able to see a future together so we needed to stop things before they got too much more involved. We laughed about how trivial it sounded, I gave him a nickname "Dog Hater Todd" and then we agreed that we would remain friends because we truly enjoyed each other's company so much.
I believe that it is rare to actually remain friends with someone who you have dated and had an intimate relationship with. Usually it is very hard to go back to a platonic relationship…especially if you never had that in the first place. Todd and I have been the exception to that!! We have turned in to really good friends! We talk about once a week. We still see each other occasionally. We have just as much fun together as friends as we did when we dated. There is definitely still an attraction there but we just have to draw the line and know that we have decided to be friends. Occasionally if we're both single we will sneak a kiss in but that is where we draw the line :) I am so thankful to have him in my life as a friend because he is a fantastic person. I would much rather our situation have ended up as it has then ended up in any other way.
My Take-Aways from Todd:
* There are good guys out there. Todd was the first really good, quality, successful guy that I dated. It was encouraging to me to finally find someone that was on the same page as me and shared the same goals!! Even though it didn't work out with him, it made me set my bar a little higher and made me realize that I can find a quality guy if I am just willing to wait for the right one.
* When you feel like you see little red flags, don't dismiss them…pay attention. More than likely they turn into big issues. The entire dog situation could have been avoided had I just listened and taken him seriously when he told me that he hated indoor dogs.
* When you know that a relationship is not going anywhere it is best to go ahead a scrap it. Don't drag it out even if you feel like everything else feels good about it. If there is one huge issue that you will never get past, end the relationship. Fortunately Todd and I ended it early enough that emotions were not so involved and we could not salvage a friendship.
It was very difficult for me to comprehend how everything could seem so spot on with a person and something as trivial as whether a dog lives in your house or outside of your house could be the breaking point. However, it was a definite deal breaker with me because these dogs were NEVER going to live outside and that was that. I could never even imagine anything different for them.
Todd and I eventually decided that we were not going to have a future together romantically. It was a mutual decision and was probably the most mature, adult break-up conversation I had had with someone up to this point. We basically just sat down and agreed that due to this huge point of contention we would never be able to see a future together so we needed to stop things before they got too much more involved. We laughed about how trivial it sounded, I gave him a nickname "Dog Hater Todd" and then we agreed that we would remain friends because we truly enjoyed each other's company so much.
I believe that it is rare to actually remain friends with someone who you have dated and had an intimate relationship with. Usually it is very hard to go back to a platonic relationship…especially if you never had that in the first place. Todd and I have been the exception to that!! We have turned in to really good friends! We talk about once a week. We still see each other occasionally. We have just as much fun together as friends as we did when we dated. There is definitely still an attraction there but we just have to draw the line and know that we have decided to be friends. Occasionally if we're both single we will sneak a kiss in but that is where we draw the line :) I am so thankful to have him in my life as a friend because he is a fantastic person. I would much rather our situation have ended up as it has then ended up in any other way.
My Take-Aways from Todd:
* There are good guys out there. Todd was the first really good, quality, successful guy that I dated. It was encouraging to me to finally find someone that was on the same page as me and shared the same goals!! Even though it didn't work out with him, it made me set my bar a little higher and made me realize that I can find a quality guy if I am just willing to wait for the right one.
* When you feel like you see little red flags, don't dismiss them…pay attention. More than likely they turn into big issues. The entire dog situation could have been avoided had I just listened and taken him seriously when he told me that he hated indoor dogs.
* When you know that a relationship is not going anywhere it is best to go ahead a scrap it. Don't drag it out even if you feel like everything else feels good about it. If there is one huge issue that you will never get past, end the relationship. Fortunately Todd and I ended it early enough that emotions were not so involved and we could not salvage a friendship.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
MUST Love Dogs!!
Saturday had FINALLY arrived and Todd was on his way to my house! I was so excited to see him again! It seemed like it had been forever since we had been together. I was so excited to see him and I absolutely could not wait for him to walk in my door! We were planning to relax at my house and watch a movie and then go to dinner Saturday night. Nothing too fancy…we just really wanted to spend time together and continue getting to know each other.
He had finally arrived at my house. My dogs were barking like heathens, just as they always do when anyone arrives. I was trying to control them and greet him at the same time. As soon as he came in the door, I realized that he was very serious about not liking indoor dogs. He didn't greet my dogs. He didn't pet my dogs. He just stared at them with this look of total disgust. I was honestly in shock!! I could not believe that he was not being friendly to my dogs. After all, they are not scary creatures…they weigh roughly 10 pounds a piece and have silky white hair and all they want is your undivided love and attention. In no way did I think they could ever be intimidating!
But, here I was…finding myself in the middle of a stare down between the 34 year old man I was dating and my 2 white fluffy dogs!! All I could do to break the ice was laugh and say "OK, you have met the pups!" He finally began "interacting" (and I use that word very lightly) with them. I thought "OK…maybe this is going to be fine." He seemed to be warming up to them and I felt like he might have just needed a little time to get used to the idea.
MAN WAS I WRONG!! Before I knew it he was literally chasing them through my house and scaring the bejesus out of both of them! I had NEVER seen either of my dogs react to any human the way they were reacting to Todd! They were literally running from him, with their tails down and trying to hide anywhere that they could! They even ran behind the sofa which I'm quite sure was the first time they had EVER been back there! I was so upset with the entire situation!!! The worst thing about it was that now Todd thought it was funny!! He was literally TERRORIZING my two babies and getting joy out of it. It had to stop. I put my foot down and told him that he could ABSOLUTELY NOT treat them that way! This was their house and HE was the visitor!
I think he might have gotten a little embarrassed because he did immediately stop and he apologized to me but it was too late. I was not happy and my poor dogs were completely traumatized. They would not even come near him. This was NOT good!
Needless to say, it did not set a good tone for the rest of the date. We hung out at my house for a little while but I honestly was ready to get him away from my dogs and to give my poor dogs a break from him! We went to dinner and I did bring up the subject of the dogs because I felt like it was something that needed to be discussed. I asked him why he acted the way that he did with the dogs and what his issue was with indoor dogs.
He had a story about his childhood where he got bitten by a small dog and how he never quite got over that. I kind of understood, but I was also thinking that he needed to man up a little because at the end of the day these weren't Pit Bulls or Dobermans, they were TINY 10 pound nothings!!! Then the real truth came out about why he hated indoor dogs so much. He went into a huge litany about how unclean indoor dogs were and how dirty they make furniture. Even if you can't see the dirt it is still there because they use the bathroom outside, don't wipe themselves and then come inside and sit on your furniture. He said they are disgusting and belong outdoors!
AND…there it was!!! I had found the point of contention for Todd and I!
He had finally arrived at my house. My dogs were barking like heathens, just as they always do when anyone arrives. I was trying to control them and greet him at the same time. As soon as he came in the door, I realized that he was very serious about not liking indoor dogs. He didn't greet my dogs. He didn't pet my dogs. He just stared at them with this look of total disgust. I was honestly in shock!! I could not believe that he was not being friendly to my dogs. After all, they are not scary creatures…they weigh roughly 10 pounds a piece and have silky white hair and all they want is your undivided love and attention. In no way did I think they could ever be intimidating!
But, here I was…finding myself in the middle of a stare down between the 34 year old man I was dating and my 2 white fluffy dogs!! All I could do to break the ice was laugh and say "OK, you have met the pups!" He finally began "interacting" (and I use that word very lightly) with them. I thought "OK…maybe this is going to be fine." He seemed to be warming up to them and I felt like he might have just needed a little time to get used to the idea.
MAN WAS I WRONG!! Before I knew it he was literally chasing them through my house and scaring the bejesus out of both of them! I had NEVER seen either of my dogs react to any human the way they were reacting to Todd! They were literally running from him, with their tails down and trying to hide anywhere that they could! They even ran behind the sofa which I'm quite sure was the first time they had EVER been back there! I was so upset with the entire situation!!! The worst thing about it was that now Todd thought it was funny!! He was literally TERRORIZING my two babies and getting joy out of it. It had to stop. I put my foot down and told him that he could ABSOLUTELY NOT treat them that way! This was their house and HE was the visitor!
I think he might have gotten a little embarrassed because he did immediately stop and he apologized to me but it was too late. I was not happy and my poor dogs were completely traumatized. They would not even come near him. This was NOT good!
Needless to say, it did not set a good tone for the rest of the date. We hung out at my house for a little while but I honestly was ready to get him away from my dogs and to give my poor dogs a break from him! We went to dinner and I did bring up the subject of the dogs because I felt like it was something that needed to be discussed. I asked him why he acted the way that he did with the dogs and what his issue was with indoor dogs.
He had a story about his childhood where he got bitten by a small dog and how he never quite got over that. I kind of understood, but I was also thinking that he needed to man up a little because at the end of the day these weren't Pit Bulls or Dobermans, they were TINY 10 pound nothings!!! Then the real truth came out about why he hated indoor dogs so much. He went into a huge litany about how unclean indoor dogs were and how dirty they make furniture. Even if you can't see the dirt it is still there because they use the bathroom outside, don't wipe themselves and then come inside and sit on your furniture. He said they are disgusting and belong outdoors!
AND…there it was!!! I had found the point of contention for Todd and I!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
The Tiny Red Flag Waving in the Distance
After our first date, Todd and I were really into each other. We started talking often and we made plans to get together a second time. This time I was going to be in his city for work. I already had a hotel room booked for the night (as I always did when I worked in that particular city) so we planned to meet up for cocktails after work and then grab dinner. Once again, the connection was instant and the chemistry was magical between us. After dinner he wanted to go to his house to watch a movie. I thought that sounded like a great idea because I absolutely did not want to leave him.
We went to his house and I became even more impressed with him. This was no bachelor pad. He had really worked hard to make this house seem like a home. He had very nice furniture, it was nicely decorated and the house was HUGE! Plus, it looked out over a lake and had the most picturesque view. We cuddled up on the couch and started a movie. I honestly don't even remember the movie that we watched because we didn't watch too much of it. We were like two high school kids who were just so wildly attracted to each other! It was nuts!! After the movie was over, I realized that it was once again way too late on a work night and I had to drive back to my hotel. I was not willing to stay over with him yet so I had to go "home". It's really hard to make responsible decisions when all you want to do is be irresponsible but that is part of being an adult and dating versus dating in college.
The next morning I met him for a breakfast date. We decided that we needed to maximize our time together while we were actually in the same city. After a quick bite to eat and a kiss goodbye I was on my way.
I was not going to see him again until the weekend. I was beginning to see that a long-distance relationship was going to be a little different than anything else I had tried thus far but since we both had such flexible work schedules, I thought that we travelled to each other's cities enough that we could make it work.
We continued talking constantly throughout the remainder of the week and we made plans to get together the following weekend. He was going to come up and spend the day on Saturday and then we would go out Saturday night. I felt like we had talked a lot up until this point and I honestly felt like I knew a lot about him. We had had many long conversations on the phone and I was really getting to know him well.
I knew about his job, his family, friends, religious views and beliefs. I knew what his goals were in life and what he was looking for in a companion. One thing that threw up a red flag in our conversations was the fact that he told me that he did not like small indoor dogs. I did not take this too seriously because I initially thought he was joking around and giving me a hard time because I had 2 small indoor dogs who were my world. They were like my children. I blew off his concerns because I just thought "What kind of weirdo doesn't like small dogs?" I just knew this could not really be a THING! After all…you have to be heartless to not like dogs and Todd was definitely not heartless!
So…I ignored the small, tiny red flag waving in the distance and proceeded on to the Saturday date. It was going to be fine! We were going to have a blast just as we always had!!
We went to his house and I became even more impressed with him. This was no bachelor pad. He had really worked hard to make this house seem like a home. He had very nice furniture, it was nicely decorated and the house was HUGE! Plus, it looked out over a lake and had the most picturesque view. We cuddled up on the couch and started a movie. I honestly don't even remember the movie that we watched because we didn't watch too much of it. We were like two high school kids who were just so wildly attracted to each other! It was nuts!! After the movie was over, I realized that it was once again way too late on a work night and I had to drive back to my hotel. I was not willing to stay over with him yet so I had to go "home". It's really hard to make responsible decisions when all you want to do is be irresponsible but that is part of being an adult and dating versus dating in college.
The next morning I met him for a breakfast date. We decided that we needed to maximize our time together while we were actually in the same city. After a quick bite to eat and a kiss goodbye I was on my way.
I was not going to see him again until the weekend. I was beginning to see that a long-distance relationship was going to be a little different than anything else I had tried thus far but since we both had such flexible work schedules, I thought that we travelled to each other's cities enough that we could make it work.
We continued talking constantly throughout the remainder of the week and we made plans to get together the following weekend. He was going to come up and spend the day on Saturday and then we would go out Saturday night. I felt like we had talked a lot up until this point and I honestly felt like I knew a lot about him. We had had many long conversations on the phone and I was really getting to know him well.
I knew about his job, his family, friends, religious views and beliefs. I knew what his goals were in life and what he was looking for in a companion. One thing that threw up a red flag in our conversations was the fact that he told me that he did not like small indoor dogs. I did not take this too seriously because I initially thought he was joking around and giving me a hard time because I had 2 small indoor dogs who were my world. They were like my children. I blew off his concerns because I just thought "What kind of weirdo doesn't like small dogs?" I just knew this could not really be a THING! After all…you have to be heartless to not like dogs and Todd was definitely not heartless!
So…I ignored the small, tiny red flag waving in the distance and proceeded on to the Saturday date. It was going to be fine! We were going to have a blast just as we always had!!
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Late Night Cocktails and Shenenigans
I went about a month without dating anyone. I had just lost interest and decided that I needed a break from the entire dating scene for a while. I was not doing any sort of online dating and I decided that I was not going to actively pursue anyone. If someone happened to come into my life, that was fine, but no looking for anyone. After a little while of this hiatus, a client of mine decided that they had someone that I should meet. He was in the same field as me and they thought that we would be a good match. I was not really super interested in dating, but since it was a client, I felt a bit obligated to at least entertain the idea.
She did all of the leg work as far as exchanging our numbers and names. I left everything up to him to contact me. Within a couple of days I received a phone call from him. His name was Todd. We hit it off immediately on the phone. We had so much to talk about. We had the same client's that we worked with so that in itself gave us a huge conversation starter. Plus, Todd was hilarious!! That was a major plus for me since I absolutely LOVE a man with a sense of humor. I had so much fun talking to him on the phone. We began talking a lot during the day. We both had fairly flexible schedules so it allowed for lots of phone time and lots of time for text messages to be exchanged.
The more I got to know about him, the more intrigued I became. This guy had his life together. He was strong in his faith, he had a GREAT job and he had a great family. He even had a 3 story house that he OWNED…not owed a mortgage on…but OWNED and he was 34 years old! He was a far cry from the other guys I had been dating, and a complete 180 from my ex-husband. I was absolutely impressed with him and his drive to succeed in life.
After a couple weeks of a lot of talking, Todd and I decided that it was definitely time to meet face-to-face. We lived in two different cities, but our jobs afforded us the opportunity to work in each other's cities so we decided that the next time one of us was working in the other's city, we would have dinner. Well, it happened within a day. He was in my city working and was going to be there for the night. We made plans to go eat dinner. I was so excited to finally meet him in person! I had seen his picture on Facebook and I knew he was cute but I could not wait to spend time with him.
We met at a local restaurant for cocktails and dinner. It was an INSTANT connection. He was not just cute…he was HOT!! We literally talked the entire time and there was an undeniable chemistry between us! It was honestly the best first date that I had been on in a VERY long time. The connection between us was just so good! We ended up walking around outside and talking for almost 2 hours after dinner. It was so nice to just connect with someone on this level. I felt like I had known him for years and it was our first date.
While we were walking around, we found a bench in a secluded area. That was when he kissed me. We ended up making out right there on the bench. I am not one to do that in a public area, but put a few cocktails in me, give me a great connection with a hot guy and I guess I will change my mind. Plus, it was a week night…there was no one around to witness my shenenigans.
I ended up staying out with him until around 1:30AM. We spent the entire night talking, making out and talking some more. I just remember that I absolutely did not want to go home but I knew that it was best that I did. I just did not want the night to end!!
She did all of the leg work as far as exchanging our numbers and names. I left everything up to him to contact me. Within a couple of days I received a phone call from him. His name was Todd. We hit it off immediately on the phone. We had so much to talk about. We had the same client's that we worked with so that in itself gave us a huge conversation starter. Plus, Todd was hilarious!! That was a major plus for me since I absolutely LOVE a man with a sense of humor. I had so much fun talking to him on the phone. We began talking a lot during the day. We both had fairly flexible schedules so it allowed for lots of phone time and lots of time for text messages to be exchanged.
The more I got to know about him, the more intrigued I became. This guy had his life together. He was strong in his faith, he had a GREAT job and he had a great family. He even had a 3 story house that he OWNED…not owed a mortgage on…but OWNED and he was 34 years old! He was a far cry from the other guys I had been dating, and a complete 180 from my ex-husband. I was absolutely impressed with him and his drive to succeed in life.
After a couple weeks of a lot of talking, Todd and I decided that it was definitely time to meet face-to-face. We lived in two different cities, but our jobs afforded us the opportunity to work in each other's cities so we decided that the next time one of us was working in the other's city, we would have dinner. Well, it happened within a day. He was in my city working and was going to be there for the night. We made plans to go eat dinner. I was so excited to finally meet him in person! I had seen his picture on Facebook and I knew he was cute but I could not wait to spend time with him.
We met at a local restaurant for cocktails and dinner. It was an INSTANT connection. He was not just cute…he was HOT!! We literally talked the entire time and there was an undeniable chemistry between us! It was honestly the best first date that I had been on in a VERY long time. The connection between us was just so good! We ended up walking around outside and talking for almost 2 hours after dinner. It was so nice to just connect with someone on this level. I felt like I had known him for years and it was our first date.
While we were walking around, we found a bench in a secluded area. That was when he kissed me. We ended up making out right there on the bench. I am not one to do that in a public area, but put a few cocktails in me, give me a great connection with a hot guy and I guess I will change my mind. Plus, it was a week night…there was no one around to witness my shenenigans.
I ended up staying out with him until around 1:30AM. We spent the entire night talking, making out and talking some more. I just remember that I absolutely did not want to go home but I knew that it was best that I did. I just did not want the night to end!!
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